Learning how to write a breakup song is a rite of passage for any musician. While it can be tempting to simply sulk in your sadness, anger, or confusion following a breakup, you have the opportunity to transcend your experience into connection through songwriting.

Fortunately, writing a breakup song isn't too difficult when you have a plethora of raw emotion to serve as your source material. Below, we'll showcase exactly how to write a breakup song and share some examples of the best heartbreak songs of all time to spark inspiration.

Why Should You Write a Breakup Song?

Writing a breakup song, or any sad song really, is a great way to help process a broken heart. Creating around our experiences, even if unintentional, can help us actively process them and make sense of the situation. Like any other song, breakup tracks also help us connect with others and relate on a deeper level especially while weathering the pain of being heart broken. There's a reason why icons like Joni Mitchell, Dolly Parton, and Carly Simon have built some of their best tracks around love and loss.

9 Best Breakup Songs to Spark Inspiration

These classic breakup songs serve as amazing reference points to guide your songwriting process:

I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor

Breakup songs can be triumphant - they don't have to be sad. I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor is an amazing testament to this notion, speaking to the strength that can emerge from lost love.

Supercut by Lorde

Supercut is an empathetic, intimate view into the breakup, taking you directly to the scene of the confrontation. In my opinion, this song's danceability paired with raw honesty makes it one of the best breakup songs of the past couple of decades.

Back to Black by Amy Winehouse

Amy Winehouse continues to hold legendary status within the music industry. This breakup track delivers a jazzy take on the harsh reality of pain that radiates off a break up. With her signature tone and swingy style, this track proves there isn't one standard song form for an effective breakup song.

Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye ft. Kimbra

This surprise hit continues to paint the vivid picture of a breakup, using the duet as a vehicle to communicate two sides of the same story. Musician Gotye went through multiple rounds of vocalists before settling on Kimbra as his final choice for the track.

Someone Like You by Adele

This heart-wrenching ballad serves as an honest, vulnerable, and painfully relatable breakup song. Carried by the weight of Adele's flawless vocals, it's hard not to feel something when listening to this track.

All Too Well by Taylor Swift

This Taylor Swift classic captures heartbreak across multiple generations, with the updated 10 minute version proving that breakup songs can resonate even when falling outside typical conventions:

Cellophane by FKA Twigs

Cellophane is a heart wrenching, beautifully produced breakup song that details the challenges of dating in the public eye. Most breakup songs follow a fairly linear structure, but this left of center treat will have open-minded listeners coming back for more:

Dancing on My Own by Robyn

Some of the best heartbreak songs of all time will have you both crying and dancing at the club. Dancing on My Own by Robyn is perhaps one of the best examples of this, with the pulsating synth lines carrying the listener through the aftermath of longing from an imbalanced breakup:

Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood

This is a far cry from the typical sad breakup songs - Before He Cheats is a vengeful, power anthem delivered with just the right amount of bite from the amazing Carrie Underwood. Not all breakups end on good terms, and this track captures the sentiment perfectly:

How to Write Heartbreak Songs in 6 Steps

There isn't one "right" way to write a song about breakups or heartache. However, if you're looking for a basic framework to start from, follow these steps:

Write Out Your Feelings

Start by writing out as many of your feelings as you can, without giving too much thought to finding the perfect lyric, melody, chord progress, or accompanying music video.

It can be tempting to want to sort out all of those details from the get-go, but for the time being, focus on brainstorming what you want to say, even if it's imperfect. You'll have time to refine your initial feelings into refined lyrics later - this stage is all about getting anything and everything on paper (or in your notes app).

Reference Your Favorite Breakup Playlist

Use your favorite breakup songs to guide your writing process. For example, you might pull a song like Cry Me a River by Justin Timberlake into your songwriting session. Listen to how he depicts his feelings over the course of the song, and how he transitions from verse to chorus and back again. There's a lot you can learn by just observing the pop patterns outlined by figures like Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, Mariah Carey and more.

Modeling after your own inspirations is an important part of the process that will guide you through writing about such a vulnerable experience. Just remember - your favorite tracks are to serve as inspiration, but your art should most certainly be unique to you.

Consolidate Your Thoughts and Decide on Your Message

Now that you're inspired, it's time to make some tough decisions and decide on your tone and cross out any ideas that don't serve you. Run through your brainstorm sheet and circle what you want to include in your track. Through process of elimination, you can start to get a more clear idea of what you want to make.

Find Instrumentation

Once you've ironed out your message and maybe even have a couple of specific lyrics you want to include in your song, it's time to find some instrumentation. If you can play an instrument, start by looping a catchy chord progression and brainstorming melodies over it. Whenever you come across something you like, notate it, and go back to your lyric brainstorm and see what you can fit within that melody to convey your feelings.

Even if you don't play an instrument, a chord progression loop from YouTube or otherwise should be enough of a writing aid to carry you through the writing process.

Write Out Your Song and Refine

Writing songs is a series of repeating the above processes, over and over, until you've crafted something you're proud of. If it's helpful, take into consideration that the common pop verse lasts 16 bars and chorus lasts about 8 bars. You can use this as a framework and work on your lyrics and melodic ideas like puzzle pieces until your first song draft is complete.

Rinse and Repeat

Even the most legendary musicians like Britney Spears and Whitney Houston had to spend years honing their craft. The best way to get better at writing about heartbreak whether it's around loss, daily challenges, the loss of a love interest or otherwise, is to keep practicing. Iconic tracks like It's Too Late by Carole King come from years of refined songwriting: it's up to you to get your reps in.

How to Write a Breakup Song FAQ

Turn your thoughts and feelings into long-lasting breakup songs utilizing these commonly asked questions and answers:

How do you write a good heartbreak song?

Writing a great breakup song is just a matter of getting in touch with your emotions and putting pen to paper: we outline some basic parameters to help you go from feelings to final drafts above.

Which song is best after breakup?

The best song after a breakup is subjective based on the nature of your situation. However, we detail some of the best breakup tracks above that connect easily with any listener working through a breakup.

How do you express sadness in music?

Sadness can be expressed in several ways in music outside of lyric choice alone. For instance, opting for a chord progression and melody in a minor key can go a long way in building the somber backdrop for your art.

Why do we listen to breakup songs?

We listen to breakup songs for the same reason we listen to any of our other favorite musicians: to connect. There is something special about the structure and context of a song that gives artists and fans alike permission to cut through a more guarded exterior and relate to a more vulnerable state of being.

The only way to heal from a breakup is to process it thoroughly - music can be an excellent way to transcend whatever you may be feeling into a work of art. Hopefully, this guide makes it easier for you to start crafting break up songs of your own. Enjoy the process of transforming your thoughts into breakup bangers.